Privacy Policy

Last updated: December 2025

Welcome to Twisted Angell LLC, where the humor is dark, the sarcasm is sacred, halos are optional, and privacy is still a thing we care about (even if society doesn’t).

By visiting our site, buying our merch, or signing up for our chaotic newsletter, you’re agreeing to this policy. Don’t worry—there’s no fine print written in blood… just the legal stuff wrapped in a slightly unhinged bow.

1. Information We Collect

We keep it minimal because we have better things to do than stalk you:

Name and shipping info – so your sarcasm shows up at the right door and your packages don’t end up in a void
Email address – for order updates and beautifully chaotic marketing
Payment details – processed securely by third-party payment providers (we never see full card numbers)
Order Details – items purchased, preferences, and basic transaction info
Cookies & Analytics – anonymous data used to keep the site working and improve the experience

We do not collect sensitive categories (e.g., medical data, political views, biometric data). We’re sarcastic, not creepy.

2. How We Use Your Information

We use your information to:

Process orders and send your beautifully twisted goods
Email updates, chaos, and the occasional sale
Operate and improve the website
Comply with legal obligations
Prevent fraud and abuse (yes, people try)

We never sell or rent your information. Not even if someone tries to bribe us with caffeine.

3. Email & Marketing

Join our list = get chaos, dark humor, product updates, and sometimes discounts.

You can unsubscribe anytime by clicking the link in any email we send. No guilt trips. No shady behavior. (we’ll only cry a little).

4. How We Share Information

We share data only with essential service providers who help us:

Payment processors
Print & shipping partners
Email service
Maintain website hosting and security
Analyze site performance

These providers only receive what they need to do their job and are required to protect your information.

We do not share your data with advertisers, data brokers, or other “mystery third parties” you never agreed to.

5. Cookies & Tracking Technologies

We use cookies and similar tools to:

Keep the site functional
Remember your preferences
Analyze traffic
Improve the shopping experience

You can adjust cookie settings in your browser at any time. Just know the site might act grumpy without them and may act feral.

6. Security

We use secure hosting, encryption, occasional exorcisms, and industry-standard safeguards to protect your information.

No system is impenetrable, but we do our best to keep the gremlins out.

7. Your Rights

Depending on where you live, you may have rights to:

Access your information
Correct inaccurate information
Request deletion
Object to marketing
Request a copy of your data

8. Data Retention

We keep your information only as long as necessary or until the apocalypse—whichever hits first.

to process purchases
to meet legal/tax requirements
to maintain business records

Once it’s no longer needed, we delete or anonymize it.

9. Children

Our products and website are not intended for anyone under 18.

We do not knowingly collect personal data from minors.

10. International Visitors

If you’re accessing our website from outside the United States, your data may be processed in the U.S.

By using the site, you consent to that processing.

11. Changes to This Policy

We may update this Privacy Policy occasionally. The “Last Updated” date at the top will always reflect the most recent version.

12. Contact Us

Questions about this Privacy Policy?
Need to access or update your information?

Email us at: hello@twistedangell.com

Legal Entity

This website and its services are operated by:

Twisted Angell LLC
A Florida Limited Liability Company